Growing up, I was living that fear. I was always given the labels adults try to use to appear politically correct: ”heavy”, “solid”, “big-boned”.
I admired the girls in my high school who could wear summer tops that showed off their bellies. I was at a loss when the new Spring J. Crew catalog came out and friends marked the cute bikinis they wanted to buy.
I preferred hiding behind baggy clothes and layered sports gear.
It seems like such a turnaround now.
I’m about 60 pounds lighter than my high school body. Friends I meet today are surprised to see my old fat photos and to hear the dread I had when shopping for clothes. But that fear of being fat never really seems to go away. Most days, it has faded to a small whisper.
To overcome this fear of fat, I have found strength in hearing the stories of others. I am especially moved by others who work in the fitness industry, as we share that extra pressure to be models of perfect health…and perfect bodies.
I recently had the pleasure of meeting Sarah Carusona, the Chicago personal trainer behind 20 to 80 fitness. We connected over our shared history of battling body image issues, intensified for both of us by our experience in the dance world. Endless hours in tight leotards in front of full-length mirrors and objectifying auditions can skew the importance a teenager places on physical appearance. Her honest, no-nonsense words cut to the reality of what it means to face this struggle.
As we continue to strive to Detox, part of detox is letting go of the toxic thoughts that rattle in our heads. In this three-part series, Sarah voice echoes some of the self-scrutiny many of us have felt. Even if you have never been one of the 24 million boys and girls suffering from an eating disorder, you have likely still faced moments of doubt, shame, and negative self-talk that create Disordered Thoughts.
Let Sarah’s story remind you how “normal” it is to have these negative thoughts…and how powerful it can be to start letting them go:
Separate the Disordered Thoughts
Further Support and References:
7 Powerful Statistics About Eating Disorders, Avalon Hills Foundation; Feb 04, 2015: http://www.avalonhillsfoundation.org/blog/2015/02/7-powerful-statistics-about-eating-disorders/#sthash.2Pj3hiqK.dpuf
Prevalence and Correlates of Eating Disorders in Adolescents. Archives of General Psychiatry, Online Article, E1-E10.”Walter Kaye, M.D. &Danyale McCurdy, Ph.D.; A review of “Swanson, S., Crow, S., Le Grange, D., Swendsen, J., Merikangas, K. (2011). National Eating Disorders.org: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/prevalence-and-correlates-eating-disorders-adolescents
About the Author:
Chef Katie Simmons
Katie is a Personal Chef based in Chicago. She specializes in creating delicious, healthy recipes for those with special dietary concerns like gluten-free, oil-free, plant-based, and low-residue. Outside of the kitchen, she is a Fitness Instructor for Equinox, with over 13 years experience in the fitness industry, and a blogger for Kuli Kuli Foods. For fun, she loves to travel, with her most recent travel involving 10 days of hiking in the Patagonia of Argentina and Chile.